I’ve been inspired by my amazing husband….
As we reach the end of this commercial month of love I have had a lot of time to reflect on my relationship with my husband. I say relationship because although we are married we are also friends, teammates, parents and of course lovers. Those are all relationships on their own in some way.
Today my loving man warmed up a cinnamon bun brought it over to me in the living room with two spoons and sat with me. We shared a sweet breakfast pastry and talked. The kids were all preoccupied with something else and for 5 minutes it was just us. It felt so warm and right at that moment. I didn’t want to be anywhere else but beside my love.
To keep this short and simple I thought about some little things that my husband and I do that remind us of our marriage, who we are as parents, as teammates, and as friends.
- Share a sweet treat
It sure is sweet to be able to chat it up like best friends and share a yummy treat. Feed him a spoon of ice cream and smile, give her a piece of cake and wink (I MELT WHEN MY HUSBAND WINKS AT ME). Whether you are at home or in a restaurant it is a wonderful way to talk and be intimate without sex.
- Send a love pin (my favorite)
I love pinterest and if i am not blogging or on Facebook i am usually on pinterest pinning my life away. I always find the sweetest loving quotes on pinterest. Since my husband and I started dating that i something we always did. We definitely don’t do it as often but every once in a while it puts the biggest smile on my face.
3. Ask a question that will teach you something new about your significant other.
My best friend and I were speaking about our spouses and she told me that she randomly asked her husband what kind of phobias does he have. It was something she had no idea about and she learned from that conversation. Her husband happened to have a mustard phobia and it turned out to be kind of funny because I happen to have a serious ketchup phobia (it’s intense). So it sparked my interest and now I ask my husband random questions to learn more about him. Our most recent conversation were about bucket lists, and places we’d like to travel.
4. i love you phone calls and midday how are you conversations.
the minute my husband and i began dating we could not stop talking to each other. we were always on the phone together and we’d talk about anything and everything. it has definitely slowed down since blending our family together and having the baby but we still talk midday and call each other just to say i love you. text messaging is overrated. as a wife of a firefighter hearing his voice is more important and priceless. Connect with each other through verbal conversation. hear the emotion in each others voice when you are speaking about something. sometimes talking to my husband gives me butterflies and I’m eager to go home and see him. I’ll even look in the mirror to make sure I look OK haha….
5. Learn your significant others love language (another favorite)
So you and your significant other can go to this website: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/ and learn about your love language. its an awesome way to get to know what your spouse likes/prefers when it comes to love and intimacy(not sex). I did it with my husband last year and I found out the he likes physical touch and prefers it over words of affirmation, gifts, help etc. by physical touch i mean hand holding, hugs, a slap on the ass every once in a while ;] but seriously its a great way to learn more about the one you love and its something that can most definitely be used to get closer in your relationship !
6. Compliment and support each other’s parenting
If you are a parent it is SO hard to keep the love alive(not for all but i know i speak for some if not for myself) God put my husband and I through a real test as husband and wife AND parents. We made it and were still making it, but some days were not easy. I told myself to focus on the Good all the time. My husband is an amazing father and where I lack he is SO strong. I sometimes struggle with emotional response to my children. I am a brush it off your shoulder, SAFE!!! when they fall, if you listened to me the first time, I just cleaned this house, take your ass to bed now kind of parent VS my husband is a come here, where does it hurt, why are you sad, don’t go to bed crying, its ok, it was an accident, ill help you clean, come cuddle with daddy kind of parent. so anyway hes amazing and with the little things that i may not necessarily agree with i see that my children benefit from it 100% and its good for them and us as a family. i should probably compliment him more than i do and be more specific when i compliment him. moral of this paragraph is it feels good to know you are doing this mommy, daddy thing right and hearing it from the one you love is important.
7. With lovers, comes a best friend
confide in them. tell them your secrets, vent out the bad energy and feelings, talk to them with an honest heart. if you are on the receiving end please receive it with no judgement. so many times i found myself judging my husband for the things he would say and taking it personal or having some sort of internal conflict because it but in reality i should have just listened and then let it go because 9/10 it was him venting. this is something i am still learning and i have to practice it in my head all the time. I want to be open to receive his honest deepest truths.
8. ask for help if you need help. they are not mind readers.
ladies, no our husbands do not know we need them to bring this bin downstairs to the basement because were done hoarding little figurines or clothes we know will never fit us again. husbands…….I’ve got nothing because we usually already got you covered!! but seriously we are humans no one on earth has the same brain, emotions, or logic. SPEAK UP ……politely and nicely. just because you tied up the garbage and left it outside the garbage no one knows you want it to be taken out…. I’m only using these examples because its often said by my mom and i always say to her you need to actually verbally ask because I’m sure he isn’t aware that you want something to be done. We have to use our words the same way we want our kids to. With asking for the help and then receiving it will ease the stress and give more appreciation.
9. hello kiss, hello squeeze, hello love
greet each other like you haven’t seen each other in days. greet each other like you have been longing for that kiss even if you haven’t. i bet it’ll be a good kiss. Love each other at hello and love each other at goodbye.
10. Time for just the two
It can be extremely difficult as parents to find the time, babysitter, money and energy for a date night. Try to create a date night at home. put the kids to bed a half hour early and YES….FORCE YOURSELF to STAY AWAKE! even if its for a quick cup of coffee, conversation on the couch, reading a book together( aloud, my husband and i used to do this ALL the time and we loved it). if you can get a date night out of the house choose to do different things not just dinner….and movies is AKA for a nap haha at least for me it is!
Here are some date night ideas below, you can also find more on pinterest!!!!
Well I hope you find these little things in love little ways to stay connected to your significant other!
Love and Light